I suppose it’s possible that, if one searches the deepest, dankest corners of the internet, there will be creepy sites dedicated to sexual fantasies about Donald Trump or either one of the Bush presidents, père et fils. What’s a certainty, though, is that you will not find those thoughts in any mainstream conservative publication or blogs, nor will you find people sharing those ideas on social media. When it comes to Trump, his supporters admire his abilities, his intelligence, and his values. He’s not a sex symbol; he’s just a leader.
Things are different on the left, at least when it comes to how women and gay men view their political idols. Surely you remember way back in February 2009, shortly after Obama’s inauguration, when the New York Times ran a long, fairly graphic opinion piece discussing women’s sexual fantasies about Barack Obama:
Many women — not too surprisingly — were dreaming about sex with the president. In these dreams, the women replaced Michelle with greater or lesser guilt or, in the case of a 62-year-old woman in North Florida, whose dream was reported to me by her daughter, found a fully above-board solution: “Michelle had divorced Barack because he had become ‘too much of a star.’ He then married my mother, who was oh so proud to be the first lady,” the daughter wrote me.
There was some daydreaming too, much of it a collective fantasy about the still-hot Obama marriage. “Barack and Michelle Obama look like they have sex. They look like they like having sex,” a Los Angeles woman wrote to me, summing up the comments of many. “Often. With each other. These days when the sexless marriage is such a big celebrity in America (and when first couples are icons of rigid propriety), that’s one interesting mental drama.”
Eleven years have passed, and I still feel unclean when I read that.
Nor was the Times alone in that. A few months later, Glamour magazine ran an “I want sex with Barack Obama” edition. (Apparently, it did the same with Bill Clinton, back when he was a newly minted president.) And there was that time during the 2008 presidential campaign when female reporters were riveted by Obama’s crotch. Ick.
With Biden doddering into the November election, the Democrats are looking to Andrew Cuomo to save the party. Is it any surprise, then, that women are starting to looking at Andrew Cuomo with a sexual gleam in their eyes?
Just two weeks ago, Rebecca Fishbein wrote an article for Jezebel entitled “Help, I think I’m in Love with Andrew Cuomo??” (Yes, the double question marks are in the original title.) After admitting that she wasn’t a fan of Cuomo before COVID-19, Fishbein now assumes a flirtatious attitude toward the governor:
[T]he less contact I have with other humans, the more I start to think of Cuomo as my only friend. I’ve started laughing at his little jokes. I catch myself touching my hair (not my face!) when he talks about an increase in testing capacity. I swooned when he told a reporter he had his own workout routine. I have watched a clip of him and brother Chris Cuomo bickering about their mother at least 20 times. I think I have a crush???
It’s not just me. Suddenly, everyone loves Andrew Cuomo. Ben Smith, the New York Times’s new media columnist, wrote a column this week headlined “Andrew Cuomo is the Control Freak We All Need Right Now.” Politico ran a profile on him that digs into his past (and present?) presidential aspirations. Reporters I trust and respect keep talking about how this is Cuomo’s “finest moment.” There is also some intense discussion online over whether or not Cuomo is hot. I say yes. Sandra Lee, please let me have him.