A former Marine featured in the A&E docuseries “60 Days In” fatally shot himself in public in a Michigan town — after posting an online suicide note saying he couldn’t “keep going on,” according to his family.
Nate Burrell, 33, killed himself in downtown Allegan on Saturday night after posting the lengthy goodbye on Facebook, his sister, Chelsey Walker.
His post hinted at a split from his wife — who is pregnant with their son — and his fear of “all of the legal crap that would ensue after this with custody.”
However, Michigan court records obtained by People revealed he had been charged with five felony counts – including criminal sexual conduct in the first degree, assault with a dangerous weapon, and assault with intent to do great bodily harm less than murder – just days earlier on October 22.
Burrell was scheduled to be arraigned in court on November 9, nine days after his death.
‘This isn’t an admission of guilt,’ he began his Facebook post on October 31. ‘I’m just tired, I’ve been through so much in my life, the pain of my situation now hurts more than I ever imagined. I can’t keep going on.
‘I want to apologize to my family and friends for failing you. I know alot of you will think you could have changed my mind I ensure you, you wouldn’t. This isn’t a spontaneous thing,’ he wrote, saying he previously checked himself into a hospital for treatment when feeling suicidal.
The reality TV star, who had just turned 33, had recently split from his wife, according to Walker.
In his Facebook message, he spoke directly to his estranged partner – referred to only as Jordan – and an apparent custody battle over their unborn child.
‘I can only imagine how bad this would all turn out, all of the legal crap that would ensue after this with custody and everything else,’ Burrell wrote. ‘You win! You have promised for weeks, you will ruin my life and I had no idea who I was messing with. You are right, I didn’t know who I was messing with.’
He continued by thanking family and friends for giving him ‘so much support through this,’ insisting he was grateful for everything they had done.
‘But we all have our day, our time to go, most feel like we shouldn’t decide that but I’m here to tell you I’ve made that decision and as hard as it was I am happy with my decision. “I’m done fighting the demons of my past, I’m done fighting the demons of today, and the demons of tomorrow,” he wrote, assuring his family there was nothing they could have done to save him.
‘For those who are mourning know I’m in such a better place. I’m no longer fighting the battles that have been causing so much pain in my mind and life. Waking up feeling worthless, lost, confused, and tired/exhausted. I know you all have told me that’s not who I am and I’m talented and have a good head on my shoulders, I appreciate you, but it doesn’t help how I feel.’
A former Marine who completed two combat tours in Iraq, Burrell was one of nine volunteers who entered jail for two months under assumed identities to put a spotlight on the problems behind bars for the A&E series.“Nathan loved his country, loved his family and was a very caring guy. He was just in a bad place. He was very proud of being on ’60 Days In,’ and he really cherished his time on that show,” his sister told TMZ.
In his note, Burrell also said America needs a better system for helping those with mental health issues, especially veterans.
“I finally get to join some of the friends that no longer walk this dark path that we have all fought for years,” he wrote.
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or are experiencing a mental health crisis, call the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention hotline at 800-273-8255 or go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org.